Saturday, February 19, 2005

the king and i (2)

今天晚上跟莫國王的妹妹say goodbye,和他們的媽媽和另外兩個親戚去吃了個晚飯。
晚飯的內容無甚特別,講過的事除了大長今之外就只有莫國王表妹的LasVegas之行。
但臨埋單前的幾句對話叫我想了很久...

國王的表妹投訴LasVegas的食物很貴,一碗雲吞麵叫價二十美元;一個龍蝦餐一千美元,原來她住貴價酒店,仲係有人請,唔晒錢,我聽到擘大個口,無野講。
國王隨口問一句:你有無睇show呀答案是五個,然後來一句:車!個魔術show都唔好睇既!
我再擘大個口。(心裡面only, of coz)

後來回程路上,我開始對國王說出我對他表妹囂張態度的不屑和不滿,(加上我叫的菜她和她媽媽大大聲說:我地唔食呢D野架!<---我差點沒哽死!),國王說:我知丫,你塊面藐晒啦!
甚麼?我以為藏得住!
哪有,你的面口很容易看,一睇就知!
你坐我則邊都睇到,佢地坐對面實睇晒啦!
係掛...
事但啦...睇晒咪睇晒囉,我唔介意佢知我唔妥...

講大長今那一段我已經很努力嘗試配合,吹得就吹(雖然我對韓劇極不感興趣),講到LasVegas我以為自己去過下經濟型road trip也可搭上一兩句嘴,但論到囂張這事情,我實在接受不到也偽裝(接受到)不來。
就是有些時候我太self conscious,太不習慣在不習慣的處境下做不善長的表情和反應,總是讓別人看出我的面口,黑的,一看就知。
我只想忠於自己。
但有時我又會想,像今天晚飯後一直想到現在:這又是否對對方一種不尊重呢?
還記得很久以前有一個朋友送我一張書簽,上面quote了亦舒的一句,說甚麼坦白率直的人其實很討厭,因為他們總恃著這個性格,根本不去考慮別人的處境,常做出或說出傷害人的事/話。
我不想自己變成這樣的人,小時候不懂事,但現在會盡量克制,多麼不吐不快也得想清楚說了出來對人對事會不會有幫助。
但面上表情的直接坦率又如何?
要好好隱藏直到別人都看不見?
尊重對方感受要到甚麼地步?和她不是很熟其實藐下佢又如何?!但既然不熟又何需讓她知道真相(真相是:她的囂張很討厭<--再三強調)?她才不會謝謝你...


3 comments:

Ma Lau said...

As I'm reading this, I remember this 1 word that keeps popping up in my mind for the past 2 weeks:



I understand your feelings, as I see those kind of people almost everytime I work... and every time I can't stand those people, I try to remind myself of the meaning of that word... not to put every little thing to heart... not just afterwards but also at the moment...

Of course it's always easier said than done... but I guess at least we can make the effort to try...

viv said...

你送的歌收到了!謝啦~

你說的沒錯,可以試著去改改看,但就如我的自我介紹所說一般,我們其實都活在不想學習(不想改)和不斷學習的矛盾中
一方面想自己變完美的人,EQ超高又看得開,但卻不想付上昂貴的學習代價(承認不足謙虛受教)

Ma Lau said...

I agree with you... and isn't life full of this kinda @$%^$#& contradictions?

I guess that's why God wants us to be humble... because if we let our ego take control, we'll always reject criticisms and never really improve...