Thursday, March 31, 2005

something to read

a very touching diary entry by a pregnant writer, i would like all you guys and girls to read.

沒有目的地能在路上多久

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/mimisister&article_id=1700448

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

4/40 & 5/40

4/40
Made to last forever

When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently. you will start living in light of eternity, and that will color how you handle every relationship, tasks, and circumstance. Suddenly many activites, goals, and even problems that seemed so important will appear trivial, petty, and unworthy of your attention. The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears.

不就正正和我昨天想起的歌詞一樣嗎?

耶穌曾經說過要改變一個人的想法,比起叫一個死人復活更難。
在創造天地的主面前還會有甚麼難事嗎?為何祂不直接把我們都"變成"乖乖的基督徒就好?
而事實是,做了十年基督徒,我沒有一天當過"乖乖"的一個基督徒。
然而因為祂愛我,祂每天每天等,像浪子的父親,不計較我的過去,遠遠看見,就跑了過來...
祂竟不去計較我的自私,我的自負,我的不負責任,我的心硬,我的厚顏,我對祂的傷害; 每天每天等,等我明白祂的愛,和祂為我所預備永恆的生命。 我能不感動嗎?

"This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever." 1 John 2:17 (NLT)


5/40
Seeing life from God's view

The Bible offers three metaphors that teach us God's view of life: Life is a test, life is a trust, and life is a temporary assignment.
Life is a test:
When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demostrate love, or to depend on God.
The good news is that God wants you to pass the tests of life, so he never allows the tests you face to be greater than the grace he gives you to handle them.

除了這本the purpose driven life之外,我同時在讀Philip Yancy的What's so amazing about Grace?,邊讀邊對恩典有一個更深入的了解和體會。
神給我們的恩典是白白給我們的,祂叫日頭照好人,也照壞人。 沒有一個人可以因為自己有多好或多強或多乖而多得神的恩典, 而神從來也不會因為我們有多壞或多頹或多頑固而減少給我們恩典。我們不能做甚麼叫神愛我們更多,同時,我們也沒有甚麼可做去叫神對我們少愛一點。
好成甘(!),這樣的一位神,要到哪裡找?
祂的恩典可以是無限大的,足夠我們面對任何試煉。而我相信,所有試煉的終極目的,除了叫我們學得更堅強之外,就是要叫我們更清楚自己的不足,更看見祂的恩典夠用,從而更認識主 -- the Amazing God of Grace.

但願我所學到的不是紙上談兵,當實際生活中要面對試煉時,我能體會主的恩典。

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

3/40

3/40
What drives your life?

"Those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment. Your past is past! Nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness. For your own sake, learn from it, and then let it go. The Bible says, "To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do."

事有湊巧還是冥冥中有安排,在本應該看書的星期六晚花了幾個小時和朋友傾電話,她字字鏗鏘說著同一番話,是時候放下一些執著,忘記一些傷害,讓自己的靈有重整的空間。
事實是我以為自己努力很多年了,但回頭一看卻發現自己像極memento的主角,將過去的種種都紋在身上,深深的刻在心上。然後殺了一個John G, 再找一個 John G.
我不要被這樣無聊的東西推動我的人生,到底要怎樣才放得了手?

我要學使徒保羅:
"...the apostle Paul almost single-handedly spread Christianity throughout the Roman Empire. His secret was a focused life. He said, "I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead."

有一首歌詞大約是這樣的:
look in the face of Jesus, and all the other things will turn strangely dim...

學習的路很長,但我深信主會一步一步帶我走過,我期望一天回頭看到滿路恩典。

Sunday, March 27, 2005

1/40 & 2/40

很多朋友也看過"the purpose driven life"這本書,剛剛開始看的我很想借這個半私人的日記網頁,每天記下一些讀後感,當成是reading journal,也想以此和各位朋友分享交流。
先簡單介紹一下,這可以算是一本以基督教為中心的自我成長,自我增值的健康讀物。(很沒趣的感覺...呵呵!但事實是健康讀物很多也是沒趣的,正如健康食品很多也是難吃的) 作者Rick Warren將書分成四十個chapters,鼓勵讀者每天看一個chapter,用四十天的時間細心思想生命的意義。很大的一個課題。一本書,四十天的默想縱使未足夠叫我領會生的意義,但四十天細味思想同一課題,總會叫我明瞭比現在所知道的多一點吧~

1/40
It's not about me.

"Contrary to what many popular books, movies, and seminars tell you, you won't discover your life's meaning by looking within yourself. You've probably tried that already. You didn't create yourself, so there is no way you can tell yourself what you were created for! If i handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn't know its purpose, and the invention itself wouldn't be able to tell you either. Only the creator or the owner's manual could reveal its purpose."

有一定程度的self-consciousness, 再花更多的時間心力和毅力去發現自己,我做到的只是可以更清楚自己的興趣,性格,喜好,對物的觀點,反應,態度,甚麼東西惹怒我,令我羞愧,令我興奮,令我不安,和背後的為甚麼。
能夠做到這些已經很了不起,但做到以上全部卻並未等於我了解人生的意義。
生命應該不單單是了解自己,然後做自己喜歡的事情,吃愛吃的食物,愛我愛的人;生命應該不是單純的自我滿足 -- 只因為我知道,我們永遠也無法真正的靠自己而覺得滿足。
"Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him." Colossians 1:16b (Msg)



2/40
You are not an accident.

poem by Russell Kelfer:

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

我相信神叫我活在這個年代,從一種文化走進另一種文化,叫我在這個地方成長,一定有祂的用意。祂給我這個身體,這個腦袋,這副德性,必然有甚麼要我知道,要我學習,要我達成。
也許,這就是我的生命的意義。

"I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2 (CEV)

Friday, March 11, 2005

oh my goodness...

仔仔 in Japan, WOW!
the poster in black, oh my goodness...
click

*the website no longer works...if anyone know where i can find the Parco 314 poster of Vic, pls let me know*

Thursday, March 10, 2005

保濕恩物


鼻敏感加上傷風的關係,雖然已是櫻花處處的春天,可是臉上的皮膚竟比冬天還要乾,不得不做些重建工作。以往做facial也偏向深層清潔系列,什麼膏什麼泥,總是厚厚的,也不是特別舒服。但是保濕的面膜卻很清涼很舒服,塗在面上任它停留幾十分鐘甚至一整晚,面上龜裂暗啞不見了,皮膚變得有彈性,而且摸上去滑滑的,感覺很好!
熱烈推介:
(左) Biotherm Masque Hydra Detox
(右) NARS Aqua Gel Hydrator

p.s. 男女合用~
p.s.s. to my friends in van: 想試試它們的威力就email我啦

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

他們說...

他們說你不夠認真,不夠堅持;
我也知道,我也知道你自己也知道。
我說你也經歷不少壓力和迷網;
他們說他們知道,但我知道他們看不到。
其實我也看不到,每次只有聽,聽完為你禱告。

唸書,三千元的大褸,專心,四年班考第八,留學,二千元的鞋子,考試。
我說你其實很愛他們,常顧慮到他們的感受;
看著他們滿足的笑容,我了解到是甚麼推著你走到今天這一步。

父母的愛,到底叫我們堅強,還是叫我們懦弱?
我不知道他們這樣做到底對不對,我只知道,他們很怕愛你不夠。

Monday, March 07, 2005

朋友的爸媽

兩個星期前的禮拜天中午,我和莫國王相約了好朋友的爸媽喝茶,這個經歷印象深刻,叫我不但認識到這樣一對傳奇式的uncle auntie,更令我見識了我的好朋友那鮮為人知,也是傳奇十足的一面。

見面之前,我對uncle auntie的認識除了小時候在電視上見過auntie一次,和聽我那好朋友訴說如何活在兩老的壓逼與嬌縱之間外,實在少得可憐。甚至對他們的職業也是一知半解,一直以為 auntie是公務員(所以曾在電視出現),uncle是自己開公司當會計的,當然後來發現錯了一大半:uncle來頭很勁!!
一餐茶大部份時間是播音式的documentary,少部份時間是答問大會(題為:前途問題;不是香港的,是我或莫國王的),剩餘少少少部份時間是喝茶,吃點心和斟茶的。
好朋友還擔心我會受不了他爸爸的口水,實情是當聽完uncle淘淘不絕將他那勤奮挑燈夜讀的辛酸史娓娓道來之後,我開始汗顏。
我的爸媽從來也不是那種勤勤力力讀好多書的人,在他們身上我從來沒有學到勤奮讀書的榜樣,雖然他們口裡常說叫我俾心機讀書。從小到大,只知道讀書嘛,考不上第一沒關係,頭十名就交到差了;升上大學,但求all pass畢到業,就已經一副無愧天地的樣子。讀著喜歡的科目還好,要拿幾個A不是甚麼難事,若遇著不喜歡的科目,呵,就是一副被得罪了的德性,也不會多花一刻鐘去試著讀下去,總是考幾次肥幾次再考再肥,發幾個爛柞,再藐咀藐屑岩岩合格。對讀書的認真度,也許除了大學最後一年,從來未合格過。
聽uncle說他一邊工作一邊自己供自己讀法律,多不明白,多沒興趣,一頭霧水,書拿起來了就是要讀下去,讀到明,讀到識,讀到有興趣。他說,現在的年輕人怎麼這般不能捱。
對呵,為甚麼呢?就是欠了那一份肯讀肯捱肯做的恨勁,多了自負,自大,自以為是。
說實在的,憑我這麼一個大學學位,周街都係,能有多好的前途?能有多燦爛的前程?對讀書尚且這麼不認真,將來就真的會突然對事業認真起來?一心以為大學畢業就等於甩難,其實一天抱著這樣的心態,一天也未真正的甩難。而一直渴望甩難又是一種怎麼樣的變態心理?係,最好唔使做,又有人工抖!


每次一反省起來,就對自己毫不留情,要幾狠有幾狠,但願反省過後的實際行動也有著這股狠勁。

共勉之。


p.s.關於好朋友父母口中的好朋友,明天再續。

Sunday, March 06, 2005

誰人教教我!

幾天沒有用家裡的電腦,也不知道是哪裡出的問題,除了動作極度緩慢之外,my favourite的folder裡面多了許多懶方便的link,然後IE window上面還出現了奇怪的search engine 和一堆tabs。我最最討厭toolbar一大堆有的沒的,所以我自己用開的program都把設定調到最簡約。很明顯這排突然出現的怪客是不請自來的傢伙!雖然驟眼看上去顏色和款式也很像Microsoft的設計,但實際上當我按right click想看看properties的時候卻發現原來它是一個sponsor software package!!!!!!我不是已經裝了anti virus和anti spyware了嗎?幹什麼還會有這種偷偷摸摸的東西跑進來呀???????
更氣的是,我根本不知道要怎樣才可以知道它的名字!(怎樣remove program就算白痴如我還是會的...)想把它殺掉卻又怕一個不小心把有用的東西通通殺掉了...現在氣已經谷到上頭頂了!

這幾天只有妹妹用過電腦,明明自己已經有一台蘋果了,但每次download甚麼還是要跑來以PC犯險,已中過不下二百次的招還不會學精一點,乖乖的買正版不就好了嗎!!!!!!!!!!!